Learning to Trust….Me!

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Learning to Trust….Me!

Everyone who has been through a difficult time knows that trust can be broken, and can never truly be regained, at least in my opinion. When I say a difficult time, I suppose I mean a bad breakup, getting your heart broken into a million little pieces.

And we all know it takes time to get over the fall out from the breakup. The pain, the hurt, the anger, the relief finally when it all ends and we can move on. And we do, we move on. But when we move on, it becomes so much harder to believe in someone new.

Our innocence and naivety is lost through the suffering we have endured, and for a whole at least, we become hard and colder and perhaps a little jaded. I know it, I’ve been there.

How do we get past that cynicism? I truly think it’s as simple as, we decide to. We allow ourselves to. We take a leap of faith, and believe that life is good and we can feel the joy of love again.

And that’s where I am. I have decided I want to feel the joy. And it’s hard! Being brave enough to be happy, it’s hard.

Society puts so much pressure around us to behave in certain ways, to conform, to have time periods and rules when we start something new with someone so that in the end restrict ourselves because we might be ‘doing it wrong’. If your feelings for someone are so strong, and you feel the joy of that, what difference does a time period make? Sure, it takes time to get to know someone properly, and during that time the affirmations and proclamations made by them might be harder to believe, but is that a reason not to believe them? Isn’t believing in joy being went your way the path to your own happiness?

I was, and continue to be, happy in myself first. I didn’t seek out another person to ‘complete me’. I think it’s just happening before my eyes, and it’s astonishing, and liberating, and scary, and wonderful.

I feel blessed that I feel this way. I don’t know how long this will last, but while it’s here and I have it in my life, I am relishing the experience for all it’s worth 😊

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