It’s Autumn, and I love it. Love. That’s a hard word to come to terms with. It shouldn’t be, but it is.
Why do we all struggle so much with the concept of ‘love’? Learning to love; allowing ourselves to love; letting others know we love them? That last one, I believe, is the hardest one. Letting another know you are falling in love with them. Allowing yourself to feel the vulnerability of it, without knowing whether they feel the same way about you.
The quote above sums it up perfectly. How do you know without the traffic lights?!!
At some point, we have to learn to let go, be vulnerable, embrace the fear, and just go with it.
And that’s where I am. I’m making myself vulnerable, which in itself makes me incredibly uncomfortable! Constantly asking myself if its too soon to be feeling these feelings? Does the person I have these feelings for feel the same way about me? What if he doesn’t, and I’m out here on my own? What then?
The ‘fear’ is what stops us. The fear is what stops us doing everything, and that’s why we need to tell the ‘fear’ to f*#k off, leave us alone, and let the bravery of vulnerability in. Let the joy in. Take a risk with your heart, and go for it.
What if he does feel the same way, and he’s scared too? Maybe he’s waiting for me? Maybe?
The full moon is today, and its an Aries blood moon. So powerful. Its a time of transformation in our relationships. A time of powerful feelings, where everything is exaggerated. Maybe its the ideal time to take the risk? Is it?!!!
And the doubt creeps back in, backed up by the fear!!! Damn you fear, damn you from the deepest part of my heart that wants to embrace the love!!