Tag Archives: Dating

Falling in the Fall…Learning to Let It Go…

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Falling in the Fall…Learning to Let It Go…

It’s Autumn, and I love it. Love. That’s a hard word to come to terms with. It shouldn’t be, but it is.

Why do we all struggle so much with the concept of ‘love’? Learning to love; allowing ourselves to love; letting others know we love them? That last one, I believe, is the hardest one. LettingĀ another know you are falling in love with them. Allowing yourself to feel the vulnerability of it, without knowing whether they feel the same way about you.

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The quote above sums it up perfectly. How do you know without the traffic lights?!!

At some point, we have to learn to let go, be vulnerable, embrace the fear, and just go with it.

And that’s where I am. I’m making myself vulnerable, which in itself makes me incredibly uncomfortable! Constantly asking myself if its too soon to be feeling these feelings? Does the person I have these feelings for feel the same way about me? What if he doesn’t, and I’m out here on my own? What then?

The ‘fear’ is what stops us. The fear is what stops us doing everything, and that’s why we need to tell the ‘fear’ to f*#k off, leave us alone, and let the bravery of vulnerability in. Let the joy in. Take a risk with your heart, and go for it.

What if he does feel the same way, and he’s scared too? Maybe he’s waiting for me? Maybe?

The full moon is today, and its an Aries blood moon. So powerful. Its a time of transformation in our relationships. A time of powerful feelings, where everything is exaggerated. Maybe its the ideal time to take the risk? Is it?!!!

And the doubt creeps back in, backed up by the fear!!! Damn you fear, damn you from the deepest part of my heart that wants to embrace the love!!

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What’s so weird about being ‘weird’ anyway?!!

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What’s so weird about being ‘weird’ anyway?!!

An old friend said to me recently, ‘…you know, you’ve turned into a hippy don’t you?’. I think it was right after I’d mentioned that I had made my own washing powder, the recipe for which I had found on a witches website (apparently they have websites these days!) and did she want it?!! I think the fact that I am now spattered with tattoo’s of various significant meaning on areas of my body that I can choose to reveal, or not, if I so choose to!

I once went on a date with a guy, who turned out to be a ‘bum’ doctor (he specialised in pelvic floors!). He, who read history books for fun, concluded that I was a hippy because I had tattoo’s and my ears had two ear piercings instead of the standard one! And he said this to me like it was an insult, when in fact I was quite pleased!

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t wear tie-dyed clothing and swirly skirts, not that there is anything wrong with either if that is your choice, its just not mine. In fact, on this particular date, I believe I was wearing very expensive Nicole Farhi boots with skinny jeans and a tight black vest top, which I don’t think are de-rigueur for your stereotypical hippy?!

As for my original question about being weird, my friends will agree that I can be a bit weird…whats wrong with that?! Yes, I can read tarot cards if I so choose to; yes, I do Reiki and feel vibrations and chakras; yes, I believe I have spirit guides, and talk to them……SO?! Isn’t me believing these things and putting my faith in the universe and what it has to give the same as someone else having religion? (Don’t get me started on religion!) If these beliefs make me weird, I’m happy with that….I’m very happily weird in my own weird world!