Tag Archives: online dating

Why define yourself like that?

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I’m single. I’m a single Mum with two children. I have been single for over two years. To me, this is forever and I hate it, and that in itself makes me mad!

Why do we, as women in particular, define ourselves by whether or not we have a man or partner in our lives?!! Surely its the eternal question?

The thing is, I don’t actually need a man! I can support myself and my children, I have my own home, a good job, great friends and family, I have a life! But still, for whatever reason in my own tiny brain, all that I have is not enough for me….WHY?!

Media doesn’t help; Hollywood doesn’t help; coupley friends don’t help!! Its everywhere! Societies expectation that couples and being in a couple is whats ‘normal’. Screw normal! Who wants to be normal anyway, normal is boring!! What I do want is to feel fulfilled. Surely I don’t need a man for that?!!!

So, how do you get to a place of self-fulfilment and get rid of this painful yearn for a partner to hold your hand?

I have been on dating websites now for most of the past two years, you name it, I’ve probably been there! And the profiles on there all seem to say similar things….”normal down to earth friendly guy who for someone to share life with”. They all seem to be lying! First of all, none of us are normal! In fact I would go far as to say that there is no such thing as ‘normal’, thank god! But maybe all of us have expectations of what we are looking for that are too high?

As a woman in my mid to late 30’s, twice divorced with two children, I’ve been through the mill and know what I don’t want, as I would guess most people my age would. You don’t get to this age without a certain amount of baggage, and hopefully by this age, you know your own mind enough to know what you do and don’t want, don’t you? Well, I do! But am I being too restrictive? Or is that the same as choosy? Or am I being too choosy? Is there such a thing as too choosy?! And so the ridiculous list of questions goes on, until you eventually go insane!

Maybe its just time to find a way to let it all go? To stop looking and live life and let whatever comes and goes, and whomever comes and goes through it in transit do just that, come and go, without restriction, until the one shows up who fills your soul with joy? Or is that just something Hollywood filled our brains with to make us buy tickets to see the film? Who knows…..

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