Tag Archives: Patience

The Stress of Change

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15.36pm

So I’m moving house, and so far I’m really not enjoying the whole experience!

Change is so much easier when we are younger. We adapt more easily and things don’t seem so hard. We make and decision, and go with it, moving along as the universe guides us, mindfully, to the path that serves us best. Why is it so much harder to do that as we get older?

I am really feeling the weight of the responsibility of making this decision and doing it right for me and my children. Most people going through this kind of change with children in tow, have a partner to lean of for support, and to discuss the implications and ins and outs of the move, for you and for the children. But not when you are doing it alone, and its hard.

We are moving areas, which means not only are we moving house, my oldest needs a new school and my youngest a new nursery, and that in itself is driving me to distraction with the choices to be made!

I think the worst part is the waiting….waiting for my current house to sell; waiting for someone to sell an appropriate and affordable house for us to move to; waiting to know where exactly their new school and nursery should be which can’t be sorted until the house is sorted! Stress on top of stress!

And its hard to be patient and wait for the universe to bring it into line to work as it is supposed to for the greatest benefit of all. Patience is not a virtue I am blessed with, which my mother has already taken the blame for by her own admission!

So, I’m waiting and trying to enjoy the process…….its a tough one!

 

19.08pm

Having thought about it, I have realised a big part of what I’m feeling is grief.

Grief for the life I had; for my marriages; for what has happened whilst I’ve been in this house; for the person I once was and the person I have become; for my children not having their fathers around all the time; for this being the only home I’ve known since my childhood one and moving being such a wrench….and many other things.

It just hit me that besides the stress of the move, there is dealing with letting go. I have spent the best part of a decade in this house, and now its time to move on, its hard.

satir_graph

On this graph depicting the Satir Change Model, I would say I am somewhere around ‘chaos’ at the moment! Somewhere in there, if I was designing it, I would add initial excitement (depending on the change one is living through, of course!), but now, it feels like grief and fear, and I’m so ready for the next part!

So, universe, bring it on, its time!!

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Patience and Mindfulness

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Patience and Mindfulness

This is something I am truly terrible at! I’ve decide its a good thing I know I’m bad at it so at least I can work on it, but still, I think its my biggest fault.

I think being impatient is a symptom of the world we live in. We live in a world of immediates. Fast cars, fast food, fast answers, fast medicine….we wait for nothing. So, when life throws us a curve ball and there isn’t an immediate fix, we stamp our feet and scream and cry because there isn’t a pill to fix it RIGHT NOW!

patienceSo, we complain and get frustrated, me absolutely included in this. And the frustration makes me more frustrated with myself for being frustrated in the first place….vicious circle!

Everyone wants more…more things, more money, more love, more friends, think that having more will make them happy. Even the girl in the image on the right who┬áis trying to find her solution in meditation isn’t patient enough to give it the time it needs to work…I have been that girl, in fact I think I still am! Its makes me think of the scene in Eat, Pray, Love (a book and film I completely love, Elizabeth Gilbert is fantastic) when she arrives at the ashram and goes to the meditation room but can’t switch her brain off for more than 30 seconds!

Mindfulness. I have read so much about this concept;

Mindfulness is “the intentional, accepting and non-judgmental focus of one’s attention on the emotions, thoughts and sensations occurring in the present moment (Wikipedia, 22/07/14)

This is a concept derived from Buddhist practices and is something that can be learnt, or practiced, through concepts bringing one back to ‘living in the now’. Many of us are guilty of looking forward to something, or remembering how things used to be, and there’s nothing wrong with either, but very few of us fully appreciate what we have around us now.

For me, its time to breathe. To live and appreciate. To slow down and just stop and look around, and be grateful for everything I have right now and just stop looking for something, not even knowing what that something is. We could all do worse than to do this…

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