Tag Archives: Soul

The Journey Never Ends…

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The Journey Never Ends…

The twists and turns of life can be surprising. As I get older, I wonder if that’s a good thing, or a bad thing?!!

I’m on a journey. A spiritual journey, and once you get on that train, you can’t get off! Believe me, I’ve tried!

Learning to embrace this ‘trip’ is something that takes a little time, stepping away from fear, and deciding to grow and move forward. Soooo, easy to say, not easy to do.

From my own experience, and from the experience of others I have spoken to, its a trip of major ups and downs. And, when you reach the point growth that you truly start to accept yourself, that’s when everything you ever knew, that wasn’t really who your authentic self relates to, it all falls away. And when it happens, its liberating and terrifying, in equal measure.

But, once you learn to embrace the change, and deal with the emotion that has come with it, its amazing and exciting. The freedom I now feel is something I have never had before.

Upbringing has a lot to do with the fear. The way we are raised and the culture around us is, in the main, responsible for our morality and the expectations we place upon ourselves. That is just the pressure we put on ourselves, not mentioning that put on us by others.

Learning to let it all go, and choose our own lives is hard….but so worth it 🙂

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Patience and Mindfulness

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Patience and Mindfulness

This is something I am truly terrible at! I’ve decide its a good thing I know I’m bad at it so at least I can work on it, but still, I think its my biggest fault.

I think being impatient is a symptom of the world we live in. We live in a world of immediates. Fast cars, fast food, fast answers, fast medicine….we wait for nothing. So, when life throws us a curve ball and there isn’t an immediate fix, we stamp our feet and scream and cry because there isn’t a pill to fix it RIGHT NOW!

patienceSo, we complain and get frustrated, me absolutely included in this. And the frustration makes me more frustrated with myself for being frustrated in the first place….vicious circle!

Everyone wants more…more things, more money, more love, more friends, think that having more will make them happy. Even the girl in the image on the right who is trying to find her solution in meditation isn’t patient enough to give it the time it needs to work…I have been that girl, in fact I think I still am! Its makes me think of the scene in Eat, Pray, Love (a book and film I completely love, Elizabeth Gilbert is fantastic) when she arrives at the ashram and goes to the meditation room but can’t switch her brain off for more than 30 seconds!

Mindfulness. I have read so much about this concept;

Mindfulness is “the intentional, accepting and non-judgmental focus of one’s attention on the emotions, thoughts and sensations occurring in the present moment (Wikipedia, 22/07/14)

This is a concept derived from Buddhist practices and is something that can be learnt, or practiced, through concepts bringing one back to ‘living in the now’. Many of us are guilty of looking forward to something, or remembering how things used to be, and there’s nothing wrong with either, but very few of us fully appreciate what we have around us now.

For me, its time to breathe. To live and appreciate. To slow down and just stop and look around, and be grateful for everything I have right now and just stop looking for something, not even knowing what that something is. We could all do worse than to do this…

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What exactly am I trying to achieve?

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Obvious statement….everyone’s life is different! That’s a given. But being happy in the life you’ve got is not always an easy thing to achieve. Yes, we make choices and sometimes the choices we make govern many other decisions that follow those choices. For example, having children.

As a single mother, much of my time is taken up with my children’s care and needs. It goes without saying that I am happy to do this. I love them both with all my being. But is it so wrong that I want more?

Even the suggestion of this makes me feel and guilty, and I can hear the gasps from the likes of the Women’s Institute from here! Lily Allen was recently slated for saying that she found being at home all day with her children mind numbing and that she needed more……good on her I say!

If my kids weren’t here, you wouldn’t see me for dust! If I had no responsibilities and not a care in the world, I would sell everything and become a yoga teacher, travelling and living, and seeing all the countries of the world that call to me so loudly and so frequently.

The job that I have pays for our life, but it is slowly killing my soul! Yes, that’s a little dramatic, but it’s how it feels at times. So, I have made a decision…

I have decided to fill my life with positivity! To do all the things I love that make my soul sing. And so what if I have responsibilities that mean I do a job that bores me?! In the time that I have that is free (virtually every weekday evening being a single mother!), I will do the things that fill me with joy.

I have a list:

Write, in whatever format I choose, including doing a creative writing course;

Practice yoga;

Plan my next amazing travelling adventure;

Although it doesn’t yet make my soul sing, run! It makes my body hurt, but I feel better. Having said that, I’m beginning to wonder if signing up for the Great Birmingham Run half marathon in October was a good idea, the training is brutal (please sponsor me at just giving.com/nataliecarter, thank you :-))

Learning about nutrition and healthy living, and turning this new info into healthy food to benefit all 3 of us.

 

I plan to write/blog about all of these things, and other subjects, of course!

I’m done being bored and frustrated with my life….let’s get on with it! 😊